Throughout this National Blog Post Month challenge, I’ve attempted to stick to the script, as they say, and come up with imaginative ways to incorporate a topic into my writing. This evening, I’m going off script.
Call it a rough week at work, attribute it to emotional exhaustion, maybe we could even make it positive and say I’m conserving energy for a busy weekend ahead; wherever we choose to point the finger, the truth is that today has been a pensive day.
In the last couple of weeks I lost a beloved aunt, a co-worker, of many years, died in her sleep, and a cousin lost her brother. Sudden deaths hurt, they make you wonder if you will be ready when your name is called. Death is a part of life. This we know but we don’t always acknowledge it. We read books on death and dying, and try to learn the proper way to grieve. The healthy way to grieve. Give that up. There is no proper way to grieve. There are personal ways to grieve, individualized to your needs and your talents. There is no clock on grieving.
This morning I read a Facebook status that reminded me of my grandmother’s illness and death. My grandmother was ready to go, but we were not ready to let her go. She told us, “Dejen me ir” (Let me go, for the Spanish-challenged). There was always someone taking care of her. Feeding her. Bathing her. And she slipped away as soon as our backs were turned.
We celebrated her life and we taught our children, her great-grandchildren, what being part of a family really meant.
When I got home from work today, I found an envelope sent by my mother, with poems that were shared in her church on All Saint’s Day. So I leave you with what may seem cliched words, but tonight, they meant something to me.
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life
I have no regrets whatsoever
Save the pain I’ll leave behind
Those dear hearts who love and care
The strings pulling at the heart and soul
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life I came across good friends
Friends who stood by me
Even when time raced me by
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye
Shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile